Helloooooo February!

Oh January, what did I do to make you so mad?

First you welcome me with a four week ugly viral rash from neck to tail. I know I get cold a lot, but I don't need to feel burning hot that way, especially with the itching and exhaustion attached. I do appreciate how it gave me such gratitude for a hot shower though... since I couldn't take one all month.

Did you feel bad about making me so heated, so you decided to freeze me with the trip to the 'lady doctor'? Thanks for getting me to the doctor twice so soon in the year, by the way, so that I could discover exactly how much my insurance went downhill this year.

Were you wanting to peek in on my misery? Is that why you had the roof leak? The big chunk of ceiling peeling away in the living room has really added character. Super great bonus!

I thought you had finally gotten over whatever 'beef' you had with me... but then you used beef to knock me out with food poisoning. You thought you were clever, but luckily my arsenal was stocked with toothpaste and toilet paper not to mention that I had the delivery boy on standby bringing me Gatorade.

And the clogged kitchen sink: Drano and leftovers never-going-down-an-inch-stinky-pool in my kitchen - thanks extra for dinging me with that on a weekend. Good thing the plumber was so prompt coming right at 945pm on Monday night, only 14 hours after I called.

I guess you felt that I needed just one more slam on the last day of your visit, so you punched me in the eye. You sure are a sneaky one because I don't even know how you did it! But let me tell you, the bruised eyeball is just a delight and so ladylike. One more time luck was on my side as I was prepared having had my third doctor's appointment of the month - the eye doctor - so I had new glasses to slip on when my contact lens rejected the idea of being so close to my gross eyeball.

So I ask you: Why? Was I just a little too happy and healthy? Whatever I did to you - I'm sorry!!! But not sorry enough to want you to stick around anymore. I'm ready for February who promises me rainbows and kittens and dark chocolate with sprinkles.

Suzy