I Believe

Everyone else is sound asleep. Even my cat is knocked out right next to me and cats are supposed to be nocturnal. Because it is 4am when everyone sane should be asleep. It is Christmas, true, but still I am 38 years old so why am I awake? I'm just sitting here in bed literally kept awake thinking about how exciting it will be in an hour or two when Brandon wakes up and we go into the living room and see what Santa brought. One of his favorite things to say right now is "whoa" and he says it with gusto like the most exciting thing in the world just happened whenever something remotely cool happens. Like spinning in circles and falling down. That is Whoa-worthy. So, needless to say, I am looking forward to the Whoas today. The thought of them is keeping me up. Ironically, this is the first time ever that I've been kept awake due to my own excitement over Santa's visit. I was never kept awake with my excitement for Santa when I was a little kid. Oh, I was awake at 4am every Christmas... I was kept awake by my brother and his excitement. Every year he would be so excited that after being awake alone for as long as he could stand it, he would creep into my room, wake me up, and sit there and talk to me about what kind of Whoas the day might bring. And it was earlier than 4am. My parents had a 6am rule - we had to stay in our bedrooms until 6am and only then could we come and wake them up and then go into the living room as a family. Never once did we break that rule. So for hours every early Christmas morning I would sit there, 90 percent asleep, listening to my brother and his excitement. Excitement before we even went into the living room. Excitement over what could be. And it got me excited. And that is why I believe in Santa. As an adult, sitting here at 4am excited on Christmas day. Because this is the essence of Santa. Excitement. Hope. Family. Sharing. Love. And I believe in all of those things. I believe in the magic of Christmas. It's a Whoa for me.

What a difference 2 years and 10 months makes

I miss blogging. Or really just putting my opinion down on paper (or electronic paper.) It has been a long long time since my last post - 2 years and 10 months. Plus a few days. A long time. Needless to say, what a difference those 2 years and 10 months have had on my life!! Namely... Bran the man. My little monkey. My 15 month old who basically is my heart walking around in a small blond (Who knew I could have a blonde kid?) body. Which leads me to this - 1150pm on a Sunday night when I should be sound asleep I am typing a blog about nothing. And everything. You know you have to start somewhere, right? And this feels like a restart although I'm too lazy/smart to actually restart an entire new blog. Why, when this one is still here and ready to go and has a less-gray, less-mom-pooched, less bag-eyed picture of me. Not to mention how much of a techy-moron I am. So...Rock on! Ok so that's it. My promise to myself is more blogging. Becoming a mom has altered my life drastically and while I miss a lot of things I don't do anymore (happy hour w/ friends, movies in an actual theater, pedicures/pretty toes, long nights making pottery, non-gray hair) I am happy to trade it all in for the new amazing thing in my life - Bran. The truth is.. .I WANT to trade it all in for him and his dad. I love just being with the two of them at home doing nothing. And by nothing I mean everything. You think you know what you're going to be like as a mom. You think you'll feel this and do that and cook x and still do y. And then you become a mom. And you look back on your pre-mom self and think - You were a moron. You thought you knew everything, but you knew nothing. NOTHING. So that's where I'm at. Tired, ugly toes, gray hair, and happiness. Oh, and a cold. Because kid in daycare = constant cold. But that's for another blog...