To Whom It May Concern

Dear August,

As you know, May was gray and June was gloomy, but that is what we have come to expect from those months, they were at least predictable in their chilly attitudes. Your friend July, however, was a big disappointment spending her time being colder than ever before. Still I had faith that when you arrived you would bring with you sunshine and happiness. How wrong I was. You have brought only illness and more cold.

I plead with you. My tan is more faded than an Ohioan in winter, my beach chair has forgotten what it feels like to be planted in warm sand, and my boogie board is now afraid of the water it has been so long.

Please, stop this nonsense already. Bring on the California sunshine. And while you're at it, talk to your friend September. Remind her that she is beautiful and warm too.

Affectionately yours,

Suzy

Crazy Like A Wenus

There we were, three Kuchtas at the Padre game innocently booing the Dodgers when we saw the most unbelievable thing ever.

Was it a perfect game? An in-the-park home run? Manny Ramirez actually playing great defense? NO!!!


It was a tattoo.


A tattoo of a kitty.


A tattoo of a hello kitty.


A tattoo of a hello kitty right above a girl's wenus!!! (google it if you don't know)

So I laughed and leaned in closer. I mean what kind of person gets a tattoo of hello kitty, right? And that's when I saw it.

The kitty had a mustache!!! A big handlebar mustache!!!

Can you imagine going into a tattoo parlor and saying "excuse me, but you sir with the spikes out of your head and skulls and snakes on your neck... Can you draw a hello kitty for me? On my arm right here by my wenus? Oh, and add a handlebar mustache please."

Are you serious??? That chick has some guts! So here it is, a snuck picture of her mustachioed kitty wenus.