Dear August,
As you know, May was gray and June was gloomy, but that is what we have come to expect from those months, they were at least predictable in their chilly attitudes. Your friend July, however, was a big disappointment spending her time being colder than ever before. Still I had faith that when you arrived you would bring with you sunshine and happiness. How wrong I was. You have brought only illness and more cold.
I plead with you. My tan is more faded than an Ohioan in winter, my beach chair has forgotten what it feels like to be planted in warm sand, and my boogie board is now afraid of the water it has been so long.
Please, stop this nonsense already. Bring on the California sunshine. And while you're at it, talk to your friend September. Remind her that she is beautiful and warm too.
Affectionately yours,
Suzy
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