Vinegar and The Mother

When I was 4 years old I noticed that my grandpa drank a shot of vinegar every day and I decided I wanted to do that too and that is how my love of vinegar began. I would pour it on salad (no oil needed) and drink it out of the bottom. I would put it on spaghetti or chicken. I swear it is the reason that my mom's cole slaw is the best around - because it is heavy on the vinegar. I can still drink it straight with a smile. I love vinegar. Kind of... What I mean is... I did enjoy vinegar until today when Jason ruined it for me. He innocently mentioned at dinner "Do you know how vinegar is made? It's made from alcohol! Malt vinegar is made from beer! I'm going to pull some beer aside in my next batch and make some vinegar!" I thought, great!! Use a bottle of merlot from our stash and make some red wine vinegar too!! Excellent! Home made vinegar!!! So while I watched The Biggest Loser, Jason watched video's on You Tube on how to make vinegar at home. And then... he shared some interesting things with me. Vinegar is made from bacteria. One guy said he just spit into his beer and set it aside for a few months. Gross. According to the all-knowing internet, the most legitimate way to make malt vinegar is to put some beer and a banana peel in a jar and let it sit and attract flies. The bugs and flies come and get into the beer and act as the source of bacteria. After a few weeks to a few months you then separate out the bug parts, the nasty banana peel and this goopy thing that looks like a big wad of snot that is called "the mother." And you have vinegar. AND you can take "the mother" and put it in another jar of beer and the mother will continue to make vinegar because it is never-ending with it's power to turn beer into malt vinegar. And then, when I was just on the brink of not being able to ever drink vinegar again, he tipped the scales by showing me an entire page of images of different "mothers." It's enough to make a strong stomach weak. Google it if you dare. And now I'm sitting here crying a little thinking about how difficult it is going to be to drink vinegar again. And how sad it is that the crazy-gross booger-wad is called "the mother." But maybe that's what being a mother is - a totally crazy thing that changes life in a magical way that you never even dreamed possible.

Crazy Trucks

A few blocks from our house, on the road that leads out of our neighborhood, is a house that has a truck parked in front (a regular sized pickup truck nothing fancy) that is so high up, so lifted off of the tires... it is ridiculous. It's so insanely high that other people coming to our house have commented on it to me without prompting. My question is - what is that about? We don't live in the mountains or desert. We live in suburbia with paved roads. Target, Walmart and Costco are all only 2 miles away for crying out loud! So why does this guy need that 10 feet of air between tire and truck? What is that about? Does it make him feel manly? What kind of girl is going to want to date this guy when she can't even get into his truck without a full sized ladder to help her in! It's nuts!! And speaking of nuts... and trucks... what is with truck balls? Seriously, what is with them? You know - the faux male genitalia that are attached to the back of a truck and hanging down. Here's a picture if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Hve you seen these? They are ridiculous!! Again, what kind of guy would put these on his truck? Who is he trying to attract? What is he trying to say? I don't know anyone that would think "Oh yea, I wasn't sure if I should go out with you or not but then I saw you had a big plastic NUTSACK hanging from your truck and that won me over."  Seriously??? You know who is saying that?  No one. Ever.

The New Disney Princess - Strong and Independant

I love Disneyland. I love seeing kids excited, I love feeling like a kid, I love the magic, I love the music and parades, I love it all. Except the lines, but who thinks of Disneyland and says 'Gee, I can hardly wait until we get there so we can wait in a line.' But I digress... I love Disneyland. And Disney movies. I have a lot of friends who are... how to put this in a way that is honest and yet shows I actually value this characteristic... Crunchy. My friends are mostly crunchy. They are environmentalists, composters, backpackers, organic-food-eaters and feminists. Something about this crunchiness also lends itself to hating Disney. Not everyone of course, but there is a good chunk of overlap between Crunchy and Disney-hater. And I kind of understand where they are coming from when you look at the old Disney Princess model. Snow White - hid in the woods where she cooked and cleaned for 7 strange men and was saved from being a vegetable by the magic kiss of a man she didn't know at all. Ariel the little mermaid - left her family and her entire life behind and changed her whole identity for a guy she barely knew. Cinderella - treated like scum by her step-mother. She was too afraid to do anything about it until a guy she'd snuck off once to see came and took her away from it all. These are weak sounding women. And by women I mean Princesses. These chicks *should* have power because they are Princesses but they don't! They give it away! I don't have a daughter, but I certainly don't want my son to think this is what women should be. I get it. I still like these movies, but I get it. However, it has come to my attention after a fantastic Friday night at the drive-in watching the newest Disney movie Frozen, that my Crunchy friends are wrong about Disney and their Princesses. Disney has a new style of Princess lately and she is awesome. Get ready Disney-lovers, because here come some movie spoilers. Frozen is about two sisters - a Queen and a Princess - who discover that true love can save them. But it's not the true love of a handsome strange guy they barely know - NO! It's the true love between sisters! And they save themselves while said handsome strange guy turns out to be a total punk and dorky woodsy nature guy turns out to be dateable (but they don't need him to save them.) Or take the Disney movie Brave - a princess has suitor-princes come to battle for her hand in marriage. But NO! She decides she doesn't want that so she joins the battle herself to fight for her own right to be alone and she wins because she's a stud with weapons! And in the meantime she develops a better relationship with her mom! Or the Princess and the Frog - a maid's daughter who dreams of owning her own restaurant. Spoiled rich prince becomes frog, turns her into a frog, they travel around and she saves his butt, he becomes a better human being because of her influence and poof - HE changes his life for HER! He changes so that she can have her dream. They live happily working like crazy in a restaurant! These Princesses are awesome amazing women! They are not the old-school Disney princess damsel-in-distress characters that used to be. This is the new Disney. So friends... stay crunchy. I love those qualities. But also stay open to changing your mind about Disney - it might just be magical after all!